Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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