I'm really into asian looking animals
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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