Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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