yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
There are leaves in my underwear?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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