PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
