Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
