..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
