is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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