i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
it was like having sex with a tree stump
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize