did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
