ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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