Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
