Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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