So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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