nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I miss vodka workout Fridays
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
