wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize