Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
porn star boner night. come get it.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize