I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
