The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
