He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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