brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
