didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
