4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
