I will die if light touches me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
