The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
