Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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