I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
