I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize