I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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