the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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