the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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