Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
