He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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