Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Someone signed my nipple.
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