You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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