dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize