The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
