I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
