next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I could fuck to npr.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
