We won't sleep together?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
