He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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