I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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