I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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