I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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