we have pet lesbian snakes
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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