..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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