Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
