Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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