She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
