We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
