watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
