birth control should be required to get into college
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
