I didn't shave. On purpose
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
