Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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