Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
