You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
