take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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