This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
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