what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
