3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
