i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
