You can't motorboat a personality
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
