Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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