Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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