I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
