No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
