Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
