Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
