well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
