Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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