I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Randomize
