Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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