dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
