Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
