the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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