Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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