you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
